Friday, 29 September 2017

365 Days Project | Part 32

274/365, Pity For The Plain Girl: So basically I got a new laptop after I said goodbye to my old five year old one which sticked with me since my old scholarship days. Since I still need to get Photoshop on my new one, I had to edit this one on my phone. Oh well.

277, 278/365, Mobile Pt. 1 & 2: Because this part would only consist of three photos, I thought I'd fill it with some phone photos that I usually post on my Twitter. This was the day Lorenza and I were motivated to climb mountains.

275/365, Secret for the Mad: I've been reading about this photographer named Emily Knecht who took a selfie every time she cried for three years. She said that it somehow helped her in situations to calm down. And I have to admit, I am a crier. Like when I'm sad or happy, when I'm angry, when anything even remotely touches me in any way. I'm someone who feels emotions on a very deep level. That's just who I am. I always thought that if I had a superpower, it would definitely be the ability to recognize emotions of living beings in my surrounding. So I thought I'd try it out, this taking a self-portrait when you cry thing. And somehow it worked. I mean, it's kinda weird but it's really helping to calm yourself down. I think that I'll continue it also via phone tho since it was kinda stressful to set up my camera and stuff. I just won't think that I'd be publishing the photos then since it is pretty personal and a very vulnerable thing to do.

279, 280/365, Mobile Pt. 3 & 4: The day my art studio mates and I took the ferry to Denmark. I'm kinda sad that I couldn't come to the last exhibition and goodbye because of the whole stress with moving to Berlin and stuff.

276/365, Insomnia: So I'm still in the process of moving out at the moment and am working on my animated short and uni is starting next week. I only took this photo because I couldn't sleep last night. These are all things that I don't actually need to do and I still feel like I don't have time and with uni starting, I'm gonna have things to do that I do need to do if I want to or not, so I really do think I'll take this project to a break.

I think it's the first time now I really hit that point where I'm doubting that I'll be able to finish this project (at least for now). After more than a year I basically went around every rule there initially was. And now I'm at this point where this project is feeling forced and that's the red flag for me. I don't force my art and if I do, it's ruining it for me. I've been really dissatisfied with everything I did lately and I feel stuck. So. Here's the thing I decided - I will pause this project at this point. I don't know when I will continue it but I do think there will be a better time for it. And as often as I came back to Blogspot, I'm also moving platforms. It isn't really a typical blog site this time which has several reasons.

This is the place where you'd find my photographs from now on. It's still quite new, a few things aren't working and I'm trying to figure out everything still. There are only a few chosen photos right now and really old texts you may remember when you've read my blog in 2014/2015 because I want to start writing again. But the facts are that I only want to put work on there that really mean something to me. You also won't be able to comment on the posts - mainly because I'm kinda tired of reading generic comments (ofc there were a lot of exceptions but that's just how the blogging community is right now). Now if you really want to tell me something, you can submit a message at /contact or on any of my other social medias basically. I'm sorry to the people that do liked to comment on my posts regulary, I appreciate the efforts you made. I also don't think that you can subscribe to the page in any way, but since I probably won't post so often on there anyway, you could follow me on Instagram since I'll be posting other photographs on there too and will tell you when a new post is up. Also I do have a 2nd Instagram account that I use as a kinda personal diary, so if you want to be up to date on my boring life, then go follow that too. Okay my peeps, will see you around on those other places! < 3

Tuesday, 5 September 2017

365 Days Project | Part 31

266/365, OB: The first day of this year's travel joruney. Since we couldn't stay over night at my sister's this time, we had to drive to Yannis' place an hour outside Berlin where we planned to sleep but never did.

267/365, Aventine Keyhole: Since the train we had to take to the airport didn't come later, we had to take one four hours early (just after midnight), so you could imagine how beat up we were waiting for our gate to open. We landed in Rome at 08:30 and somehow got to our apartment (after a lot of cancelled trains and buses) at 11:30 where we immediately went to sleep. That was our day, so here's a picture I took of the St Peter's Basilica in Vatican City.

268, 269, 270/365, About Phone Snaps: I'll admit it, most of the time I was just not really into taking pictures with my actual camera which happens a lot when I'm travelling. While many of my friends think that I'm usually just not interested in the buildings and landscapes, it's not the case. During the last years I noticed that I'm taking less and less photos with my camera. Not because I'm not interested in photography, more because I know now what I want to capture and how I want it to look like. So I don't do snaps with my camera anymore because I know exactly that I won't like it that way and that I can do better (also: I'm not into taking pictures of non-living objects anyway). So here are some photos that I took with my phone that I initially only wanted for Twitter but turned out that I didn't really take other photos with my camera on these days.

271/365, Focus: Thanks to Anna for taking the photos for this. My camera lens isn't working so well anymore (I think something broke and stuck in it, idk), so I'm having problems with focusing. Hence my friends struggling a lot more with it when they have my camera. So since the photos didn't come out that well, I thought I'd play around with them a little.

272, 273/365, Travel Buddies: Max and Anna were the two people that I spent the most time with this trip (Yannis was staying in bed due to sickness mainly). It's still a bit difficult for me to pose people that usually don't do that but I'm learning, I think. I'm really happy that at least I do have people who want to be photographed (or more like: who don't mind being photographed). I hope I'll find more people to trust me taking their picture during my uni period.

Maybe as a quick info for this post: Last year my friends from school and I started this tradition that we would travel together once a year since our school never allowed us to leave the country. During our exams we travelled to London last year (which was also part of this project), this year it was Rome. It was super nice, I enjoyed it very much. Now that I finished all my jobs and had this holiday, I'm having this month for myself and my own personal projects. But most importantly: I'm moving all my things to Berlin next week (omg omg omg)! I still don't know what to expect, so I'm just very excited and a tad nervous right now. My dad already teared up thinking about it, hah. </3

Sunday, 20 August 2017

365 Days Project | Part 30

252, 253/365, Season 2: I got these flowers at the premiere of the second "Klappe gegen Rassismus" season which is a film idea competition in Mecklenburg Western Pomerania. If you're living in this state then you'll be able to apply for the next season already: click here

254/365, One More Light: And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair. Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. If they say: Who cares if one more light goes out in the sky of a million stars? It flickers, flickers. Who cares when someone's time runs out if a moment is all we are? Or quicker, quicker. (x)

256/365, 2YRS: Before you know it it's 3 am and you're 80 years old and you can't remember what it was like to have 20 year old thoughts or a 10 year old heart.

255/365, Liability: I think I will never take so many self portraits again after this project. Maybe that's  a good thing because I currently do want to take more photos of other people and start having small series about topics which are dear to my heart. I'm currently also trying to figure out what I'm going to do with this blog ...

257, 258/365, Lorenza: Visiting my internet friend in South Germany (which was also my first time in the South) and being super inspired for a short film. Never was so much reminded of a Ghibli studio movie.

259/365: Guts Over Fear

260, 261/365, Aeons End: Photos from a performance of Pats band at the Hanse Sail. If you're into prog metal, then you should definitely check them out: www.aeonsend.com

262/365, Transfiguration: A complete change of form or appearance into a more beautiful or spiritual state.

263, 264/365: Backstories

265/365, Nala: Laura and her cat.

This project turned from a conceptual project to a documentary project of my life and I'm quite okay with that. I actually learned a lot from my photography during this project or to be honest: I learned what I don't want my photography to be. I'm still on the path of finding my way and if you paid attention, you'd noticed that I have exactly 100 shots left for this project. I initially wanted to pick up the challenge properly for the last 100 but since I learned that conceptual photography is not exactly what I'm eager to go further into at this point, I decided to try out another 100 Happy Days. Some of you may have seen my first 100 Happy Days photos on my old blog. And if not, then be excited for my updated answer to the Can you be happy for 100 days in a row? question.